i need to protect myself

i need to protect myself from others, have to beware of people with bad intention.
need to be careful, try to do as much protection for myself.
also need to protect myself emotionally, not to receive so much stress at work.
i dont have to bother for company problem, as it only affect my emotion, and emotion affect my digestive system
i should be happy and not let all these emotion affect me and my health
why should i let my job steal my joy and health
let go let go let go let go let go

i'm not afraid

i thank God that even with the challenges that i faced i don't feel afraid. If God is for us, who can be against us?

But still, I'm praying hard that God will help me through these challenges.

I'm thirst. I'm really eager to hear God's voice. WHat should i do now?

Trust in the Lord.

Feeling of powerlessness

Something bothered me for a long time. I couldn't recall when did it start. I feel powerlessness over all the things I have to do. I always have this thought that "I'm unable to do this" deep down inside my heart. No matter what's the task that was given to me. it could be my perfectionism's fault. But I was really full of confidence a few years back. I believed I can do everything.

This lies that I believe make me miserable because I couldn't do my best in everything I do.

When God gave Aaron and the levites their job as a gift. When I imagine myself as them,I started worrying I might die because I'm unable to do a good job to such a careful extend. That's because I believe in myself more than God. If God pick Aaron and the Levite, of course God knows they can do it. Doesn't God know better? But I always choose to believe my own judgement instead of what God sees in me.

I'm delusional about myself.