Something bothered me for a long time. I couldn't recall when did it start. I feel powerlessness over all the things I have to do. I always have this thought that "I'm unable to do this" deep down inside my heart. No matter what's the task that was given to me. it could be my perfectionism's fault. But I was really full of confidence a few years back. I believed I can do everything.
This lies that I believe make me miserable because I couldn't do my best in everything I do.
When God gave Aaron and the levites their job as a gift. When I imagine myself as them,I started worrying I might die because I'm unable to do a good job to such a careful extend. That's because I believe in myself more than God. If God pick Aaron and the Levite, of course God knows they can do it. Doesn't God know better? But I always choose to believe my own judgement instead of what God sees in me.
I'm delusional about myself.
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