I bought the cake again!

Yesterday I went into a bakery to get my dinner. Oh I couldn't help myself not to buy a cake. It seems good at that time. I was hungry. The milk jelly cheese cake did taste nice. However I had a feeling of remorse accompany by bloated stomach after eating. Perhaps it's caused by the price of the cake? I don't know.

It is highly recommended to record down our spending. Until now I still can't do that. I'm afraid to look at what I spend. It's scary... What should I do?

How bad do you want it?

I realised that the success rate of keeping a resolution depended on this question:" How bad do you want it?"
In fact, one must ask this question before setting any goals or resolution. It seems like I want this or that, but now I really need to re-evaluate what I really want. Sometimes I'm just confused. What do I really want? What is my dream life/job? I have no idea.

Baby steps

Finally, I have started to rearrange my closets. Haven't done yet but at least it's a baby step. Yay....

Tiring...

Half way through the New Testament! Hooray! Other than that, still working on HIIT as usual. But my body is reluctant to wake up early these days, which makes it hard to read poetry in the morning. So far I try to eat breakfast every day. Didn't achieve anything during the weekend, except cooking, coz I felt tired. I wonder what makes me tired. Is it the sight of clutters? Or the realisation that there are areas which are always beyond my control? No matter how hard I try, it will always be at the mercy of others? Should I just live with it? How can I work to solve it when it involves others consent?

Why should I stick to breakfast routine

I wish I had breakfast this morning. I didn't. I woke up late and tiring. Now I have no mood to do any task in the office. All I have in my head is the food. Anticipating lunch every second. Hoping the times would move faster so I can leave the office. Lunch...lunch...lunch...Mmmmm.....the lack of breakfast cost productivity

Not happy

I wish I could see a quick result. Everything seems to takes forever to get to the end- works, learning, muscles... but some good result that I can see very fast is my health. HIIT workout for just 10 minutes everyday for 5 days a week really did boost my energy and stamina. Not feeling sleepy at work now. Less tired after work. Hooray!

Seriously need to think of changing all other areas of my life. Haven't done anything significant about family and de-cluttering. Am not feeling happy. Though I managed to keep up with 90 days New Testament plan and HIIT. I'm really settling for current situation and not working for what I really want. Should I go with the flow? Or should I push harder? Where is the balance? Somehow I'm looking for more challenging task. Overcoming challenges give me a sense of accomplishment.

New task:

• reading the Poetry section of the Bible once I wake up(3-4 chapters)
• eat breakfast(feel grumpy without it, but very challenging consider the effort to wake up earlier also time spend on thinking what to get)
• spend more time on exercising(still thinking of what skills I can learn at home, such as splitting or standing on my hands)
• be more productive during the weekends(too vague, need a breakdown list, struggling between my own task and the house task)

Looks like more reflection is needed!

I don’t believe I can drive

I want to drive, but I don’t believe I can drive.

If I want to change my life, I need to fix this. We are reluctant to change; it scares us to go out of our comfort zone.

I have gotten my license 5 years ago, and have forgotten all the skills by now. My family doesn’t have a car. I can’t find people to teach me. I don’t have time… As if I can’t control my situation. I decided to look deeper into this. I figured out that I lack of self confidence. I don’t believe in myself. I don’t believe that I can master the skill. I always feel very stupid since I became an adult.

I know I need to change this negative thought to “I know I can drive”. It’s hard. But Henry Ford says “Whether you think you can, or you can’t… either way, you’re right.” I’m starting by asking people to teach me. And I didn’t reject even though I need to practice driving at 6.30am. Practicing even just a little bit did help to boost my self-esteem. I’m looking forward to more driving lessons.